Today, was a very productive day for me as I went to see Carmen in her office to ask her to see if she could give me some formative feedback on a few pieces of work I have been working on recently. She seemed very impressed as I have done very interesting subject matters and seem to have produced more work than other people in the group.
The Pieces of work she looked at was; ‘Breaking News, Unicef, and Forced Marriage.’
For the breaking news piece, she said that I needed to rephrase and structure the introduction to make it more enticing for the reader and to help it follow better. She also asked me to check the grammar and spelling like I predicted she would.
Overall, both of us was pleased with this piece as she noticed that my writing is improving and that I have been keeping my eyes open for more content for the website. Carmen said that this piece is on the pulse and that she was impressed by the fresh angle I have taken by adding in more data, which I was given by a primary source. I believe this story is of publics interest and will look good once I add some multimedia.
She then moved on to my ‘Unicef’ spotlight piece. She wanted me to rethink the working on a few paragraphs including the introduction and the second paragraph. This was because it didn’t read well and it made it hard for people to digest. Also needed better explanation adding context but at the same time keeping it tight. Another thing within the piece was that I used a quote and forgot to add who said it.
After this piece, she then looked over my ‘Forced Marriage’ Piece; she seemed really impressed with this piece of work and only really picked up on the intro and the second and third paragraphs. They just needed to be more concise and more interesting to read. Also, the fact that I used repetition of the words ‘Married, Marriage and Marry.’
To conclude, now I have gained feedback it won’t take long to make the changes and finalise the three pieces of work for the website this means that I am ahead of my Gantt chart and in good stead to meet the deadlines.