Draft & feedback on my second story

In the last few days, I have completed the research needed and drawn up a draft. I emailed Carmen and asked her for feedback. She replied and gave me some pointers to improve it. These included things like:

  • Spelling and Grammar
  • Sentence structuring – tighten sentences, write them in layman’s terms
  • Add more information on the victim: ie age, where originally from and where trafficked etc

Now having this feedback, I can make changes to improve the piece and make it read smoother. I feel like I have really learned key skills over the last year and feel more confident in asking for advice.


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